[intro]Students at the University of the Free State speak out about whether men should have a say when it comes to abortion.[/intro]
Phily Dube, 3rd year Agricultural Science student, UFS
“I think a man should have a say when it comes to abortion because it doesn’t take the woman alone to make a baby. I think it’s only right to do things 50/50. Such decisions cannot fall only on one side because then it leaves the other 50 % without a say and that is not fair. It’s all about being fair, so yes, the man should have a say.”
Palesa Modisane, Programming Coordinator at OFM
“I personally feel like a man should have a say in a woman having an abortion, although I don’t know what the law says about who has the final say. It’s a human right for a man to have a say in an unborn child’s life because when a woman is pregnant she is not pregnant alone, they’re pregnant together – they made the child together. It should not only be one person making decisions. It all boils down to communication and I strongly feel that a father should have a say even though he won’t be the one carrying the baby, at the end of the day he helped conceive the baby.
Bheki Zikhali, 3rd year BCom Economics Student
“It’s a tricky one hey and l would like to think it depends because a lot of factors come to play. Scenario 1: The male wants the child and the female wants to abort. It’s a tricky one but at the end of the day she has the power of choice because it’s her body. Scenario 2: The female wants the child and the male doesn’t want the child; she has every right to keep the child or not but it could be that once the child is born she might seek child support from the father. Bear in mind the father didn’t want the child. I think at that point it’s a matter of agreement between the two but at the end of the day it’s the female’s choice more than the male.”
“What women fear the most, and what pushes them sometimes to not even inform a guy is the fear of feeling unwanted. After going through a termination, only a small fraction of women feel unaffected or fully relieved. The rest really feel like they have disgraced their purpose first and foremost as a woman – the duty to grow life. And when you feel that way about yourself it is easy to believe that no guy will ever fully find you worthy. Not to mention that most men don’t even know how to deal with such. They either blame you or start to distance themselves. Either way, all that pressure is rejection. And no woman wants to feel that way hence why they would rather say things like “it’s my body.” I personally went through a termination. And although it was still early stages, I still felt all of the above. Not to mention the guy was a complete ass, even though it was an agreed decision. I took his asinine treatment because I felt I deserved it subconsciously. And as he would say, “what guy will ever want your broken self?” I believed he was right.
Thato Hlalele, final year Industrial Psychology student
“Even though men cannot have a deciding factor, I strongly believe they should have a say in the matter. They should take full responsibility for their actions even.”